THERE is no greater agony in life than carrying an untold story down into the grave. Bobbi Kristina Brown (March 4, 1993- July 26, 2015) was an American reality television and media personality, singer and actress.
She was the daughter of singers Bobby Brown and late Whitney Houston. The rough road started for the little Brown when her parents divorced due to their drug problems and domestic violence, but became tumultuous when Whitney Houston died in February 2012. Bobbi Brown’s mother died in a hotel bathtub in 2012, from what was later ruled an accidental drowning with heart disease coupled with drug addiction.
Whitney’s death was both shocking and devastating to Kristina. In accordance with her mother’s will, Kristina was named the sole beneficiary of Houston’s entire estate. This also afforded her to receive trust fund payments in instalments until she reached age 30, after which she was to receive the remainder of Houston’s $115 million estate. She undauntedly surmounted many hurdles but her engagement to Nick Gordon, a man she previously considered her ‘’big brother’’, broke her beyond repair! In October 2012, Kristina’s life took another devastating turn when she announced her engagement to Nick Gordon, a close family friend.
One of her closest friends, Alex Reid revealed how this relationship devastated her and gradually deteriorated her self-worth and esteem. Maya Angelou said, ‘’Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option’’. It was very obvious how Kristina became gradually addicted to the opinion of the man who gradually whittled her down with abuse and deep sense of possessiveness. Nick gradually and meticulously severed her from her family. He monitored her spending and cut her off from real life supporting system: her friends and family! Albert Schweitzer said, “The tragedy of life is not that we die but what dies inside a man while he lives”.
Kristina’s death heralded much uproar, but if the truth be told, she was actually ‘dead’ long before her death! Though her death attracted worldwide attention, the most sympathetic part of her story was the ‘death’ of her hopes and aspiration as a result of mismatch relationship with Nick Gordon, a relationship that lacked critical definition from the onset. In fact many, including her grandmother Cissy Houston believed that it was an incestuous affair.
Any relationship that is not defined will surely end up defiling you! Though Kristina’s story of drug use, weight loss and severance from family members might be speculated, but it was obvious that she was losing her internal security due to her strong attachment to Nick. It is good to note that whether in life or relationships, we must never be addicted to other people’s approval of us. It is a strong form of self-inflicted abuse. In my personal counselling sessions with youths, I have realised that the greatest and most destructive form of addiction is not of alcohol, drug or sex.
It is our addiction to the opinions of others about us, the reason being that when a man is addicted to someone’s opinion; it opens him up to every other kind of addictions! A girl who gets trapped and diminished by the opinions of others will eventually become a slave to all. The big question is: Whose approval are you addicted to? I am reaching out to the youths that are suffering from abusive relationships to reconsider and re-evaluate their values and readjust appropriately. Mike Murdock said, “The ability to disconnect from people who abuse and misuse your life is a priceless one.”
We must constantly carry out relationship audit and severe ourselves from toxic and destructive relationships. The greatest form of abuse is being in a relationship that doesn’t give you platform to be yourself, a relationship that is not in tandem with your core values. According to Kristina’s intimate friend, Alex, Kristina was always hiding from something, having felt isolated and stuck in an abusive relationship. No matter the level of commitment in a relationship, we must never defile ourselves to defend our love for someone! Any relationship that you compromise to keep, you ultimately lose.
On January 31, 2015, Gordon and a friend found Kristina face down in a bathtub in her Georgia home. According to a police spokeswoman, she was alive and breathing after being transported to North Fulton Hospital in Roswell, Georgia. Doctors placed her in a medically induced coma after determining her brain function was ‘’significantly diminished’’. Kristina finally died surrounded by the family that a sour relationship had hitherto severed her from, in hospice care on July 26, 2015, at the age of 22, about six months after she was found face down and unresponsive in a bathtub in her suburban Atlanta home. Her mother Whitney Houston was also found dead in a bathtub, in similar manner three years ago! Funeral services were held August 1, 2015 at St. James United Methodist Church in Alpharetta, Georgia. Kristina was buried two days later on August 3, 2015, next to her mother Whitney Houston in Fairview Cemetery in Westfield, New Jersey. It was a hopeless end for a life stifled by unhealthy relationship. Albert Einstein once said, ‘’If you want to live a happy life, don’t attach it to people or things, attach it to a goal’’.
Attaching your Identity to relationships, especially those that are abusive, can signal your doom! Don’t ever endure or stay in an abusive relationship; because what you can endure, you cannot change! My heart goes out to Cissy Houston, the 81-year-old mother of the late Whitney Huston and grandmother of Kristina; she had suffered great losses to the pangs of mismatch and abusive relationships. And to all the youths out there that are still enduring abusive relationships; don’t let someone get comfortable with disrespecting you. Stop that abusive relationship or it will stop you! It’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters.
Relationships matter a lot! The story of Whitney Houston and her daughter is a pathetic one. Two women, same abuse, one fate! The relationship truths to be learnt from Kristina’s tragic end are that: • Stay with your family; don’t neglect family because of relationships. Family matters! Any relationship that takes you away from family will eventually destroy you! For when Kristina’s life was ebbing away, the only thing she had left was the family she meticulously distanced herself from.
Your family is your life-support system; they are your real life line! • Nobody can make you inferior without your consent. • Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is just an option. • Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth and never let some else’s opinion of you become your reality. • Don’t ever defile yourself to defend your love for anybody! The quality of our relationship has a huge impact on the quality of our life. I loved Whitney Houston I loved Kristina Brown I love them still! Adieu Bobbi Kristina Brown
